Mar 1, 2010
Emigration, immigration
Today, as often, I'm thinking about how on earth I ended up here. Sometimes I just look around and marvel. Not specifically how I ended up in Denver, but how I ended up moving to the United States, where I never ever in my life planned to move – I wasn't even all that excited to travel here. After having spent a year and a half on a mission in Georgia I thought I'd seen as much of the US as I needed to see and would hereafter travel to other, more interesting places. (Yes I know, Americans will say there is a lot more to the US that Georgia and that it's not a good example anyway... Sorry to say, an European knows that even Georgia and Alaska have more in common than, say, Finland and Sweden, so despite the variety in the US, the uniformity is a bigger thing in my eyes. This not counting in the nature of course, which is very varied.)
It's a strange thing, emigrating from your country. Some move with joy to wider spaces, some move with interest but can never truly feel at home. Even stranger it is if you end up moving to one of those countries that you really don't like or that don't interest you. I moved because of love – and because my husband had more of a chance for a career in the US than in Finland at the time. (My career couldn't be taken into account since honestly there was none and is none.)
Away from Finland, I've noticed strange national romantic feelings arising. In fact, since I've lived away before, I knew that when I haven't seen my native soil for months, suddenly I get all weepy eyed from national romantic poetry or songs or anything that evokes “Finnishness”. And, funnily, I tend to laugh at the same stuff when I'm in Finland. I haven't noticed this reaction in all Americans who end up in another country, not my husband for sure, but sometimes you notice young missionaries for instance being weepy eyed over peanut butter or even Hershey's chocolate (no reason for that I think, the stuff is horrible).
It's different though if you move from a small country with a very self-satisfied but isolated culture to a bigger one, that exports culture and can even be seen as a cultural threat. I think there is a sense of having betrayed your country. This is especially the case with mormons who end up moving to America to marry an American man. When I was planning on my move I talked with a lady, a friend of mine, and she said with clear disappointment in her voice: “I would have thought that you at least would have stayed...” - a real you too Brutus comment. This comes from the fact that so many promising mormons move to the US, either because they genuinely like the culture, because it's difficult to be a small religious minority, or because they want to find a soul mate who is also mormon and can't find that in Finland with only 4000 members. Ok, so it's not easy, but by moving you give up and make it even more difficult for the ones that stay, since there's one less. And these feelings are always in the back of the mind of the emigrant. When you visit, even if your friends are still your friends, they will have gone on and you are no longer one of them.
The photo I chose is from Hanko, where lots of emigrants sailed from to find new life in America, a hundred years ago and more. One of those emigrants happened to be my grandfather's father (although I don't know where he sailed from) and his brothers. He left his (ex?)wife and child here and went off to find a new and happy life in the land of plenty. Betrayal. Am I following in those footsteps in some sense?
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lots of good thoughts and points, tuittu! sometimes i have also wondered how did i end living abroad as it never was my plan although i loved to travel. i am in a similar situation as you in many ways and these national romantic feelings have become very familiar to me too, especially in the beginning after moving abroad about 4,5 years ago. luckily i have been able to visit finland often, that has helped a lot and probably also the fact that i have two kids i don't have that much time to be longing for much else than maybe more sleep and a moment for myself.
ReplyDeletei have to say though, that i still feel and hope that i am part of my group of friends when i visit. of course everybody has moved on but so have i - we all have families now. often i really miss my friends and would love to be part of the things they do but i just have to accept the situation for now. at least i have hope as we will end up in finland within the next decade. that also gives me motivation to keep in contact with them (to some extent at least).
it feels comforting to read that there are others who miss finland in probably the same way as i do. and the feelings grow even stronger when you have children - you will see!
and moving/living is not betrayal, sometimes it just happens.
"Georgia and Alaska have more in common than, say, Finland and Sweden"
ReplyDeleteWhat an interesting statement. Have you been to Alaska?
"That is very beautiful. Very true I think" was my husband's comment to me after reading this. And continued: "Although I wouldn't say that all the best mormons go to America". (He is American, living in Finland). Ja mun pikku kommentti vielä et M:lla olis varmasti vaikeampaa täällä jos hänellä ei olis niin mieluisa työ. Ihmettelen usein hänen hyvää oloa kuitenkin vaikka ei ole oma maa. En ole varma miltä musta tuntuisi asua pitkään ulkomailla. Varmaan vähän niinkuin susta.
ReplyDeleteHa! I knew someone would say something about the Georgia-Alaska thing... I haven't been to Alaska, and scenery and nature are clearly very different... But I have noticed Americans tend to think that the cultural differences between different states are bigger than they are, just because there are some. But, honestly, there are cultural differences between eastern and western Finland! I've so far lived in 3 states and visited a couple other ones, and sure there are differences but still, they're not as big as between countries in Europe. Just the fact that the language is the same is unifying (but how about the America of Spanish speakers?)
ReplyDeleteI agree, the US is much more unified than Europe or even the Nordic countries. One factor is naturally language but another that it still is one country, although a big one. People move around the continent much more than they do in Europe. When I was living in the US I had tons of friends who had moved across the US several times. In Europe, it's much more rare. Even within Finland, people tend to stay close to where they were born most of their lives.
ReplyDeleteVery insightful posting Tuittu. Welcome to the USA.
ReplyDeleteBefore she changed her name to Tepa Mostert, my wife's name was Terttu Tuulikki Aunola (from Oulu) and I believe she has had very similar feelings to yours. We were married in England, after our missions in Finland, spent two year honeymoon in Japan in the US Army, did graduate work at BYU in Utah, worked in broadcasting in New York City and Quincy, IL, where she became a citizen and Tepa in the same ceremony. Now are retired after years of office management work in central Illinois.
Olemme oikein onnelisia vaikka ei ole monta suomalaisia taalla.
I don't see it as a betrayal, but then, I'm probably seriously biased, since my mother did the very same thing (she was born and raised in Helsinki, emigrated when she married my dad--an LDS farm boy from Logan, Utah).
ReplyDeleteI lived in Finland for three years when my dad was mission president, and they've been back several other times on trips and most recently for a 3-year call to preside over the temple. Since I was there during my early teen years--a time that really molded who I am--in many ways, I feel like Finland is my second home. Whenever we sing "Be Still My Soul" at church, I get weepy and want to sing the lyrics to the Finlandia.
I have no real answers--but I do hope you manage to find happiness in your life, even if that means Colorado. Perhaps you'll end up back in good old Suomi some day after all.
(I'm with ya on the chocolate--Hershey's will do in a REAL pinch, but to make me a really happy woman, hand over a Fazer sininen!)