I'm writing in English, which is strange in itself since I really love my own language, Finnish, and since I detest the power position that the English language has in global communucation... but I'd get way too many complaints from American friends if I didn't write in a language comprehensible to them.

Aug 24, 2010


I haven't been able to write all of July and most of August, mainly because I decided not to make this a baby blog. I will only write about MY baby in facebook. However, this creates a problem: what to write when baby is all you think about?

Yesterday I thought once again about aging... The traumas and the joys. I'm not one of those who is worried about aging because it's cool to be young - it's not, in my mind. The older I get the less insecure, uncertain and, in some cases also, less unhappy I become. Compared with ages 25-28 I'm really happy right now. Still, sometimes you feel a moment of unease. I think it has got to do with what you've accomplished in life so far. We create expectations for us, about how life should be, and about what should be done by a certain age. And sometimes our social circles create those expectations - be the circles in a religious community (many expectations there! I'm not saying however that the religions create the expectations, I think it's really the community), academical circles (equally expecting really) or others. I remember feeling really worried when, at 30, I met a former classmate from Junior High, first time in many years. She had a house, a car, a career, a husband and children. I lived in a rental appartment, had no car (didn't really want a house or a car but still), had almost no career, just a job, and not even a boyfriend let alone a husband and children. I felt like at that age I should have at least something from the list.

A close person to me is having a 40-year crisis, mainly I think because her ambitions have not been fulfilled. With musical ambitions she realizes that she is getting too old to reach them. Some ambitions have a time limit, set by the society. You can't act the roles of young women after a certain age. You can't even become an actor...

How about me? Right now I'm pretty satisfied, having reached the one goal I had with a time limit (having a baby). There are others, but they can wait...